Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self- delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. This may lay the groundwork for a friendly talk about his alcoholic problem. As each member of a resentful family begins to see his shortcomings and admits them to the others, he lays a basis for helpful discussion. That war-time day in old Winchester Cathedral came back again. Though experience had made him skeptical, he finished his treatment with unusual confidence. How can I be helpful to him? I remember I felt irritated that I had to be a salesman for a concern I once owned. Id prove to the world I was important. There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. Because this book has become the basic text for our Society 5-b. In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. To some extent this is already true. He attended church for the first time in many years. This may take patient waiting, but it will be worth it. The very first page of our basic text tells us that, contrary to misinformation in the A.A. Fellowship, alcohlics can recover from alcoholism. Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. Though there may be justifiable exceptions, and though we wish to lay down no rule of any sort, we have often found this the best course to take. I had no trouble refusing drinks, and began to wonder if I had not been making too hard work of a simple matter. We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured. The age of miracles is still with us. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. CSIC Books & Reference. An alcoholic of this temperament may be quick to use this chapter as a club over your head. Why, he argued, should he lose the remainder of his business, only to bring still more suffering to his family by foolishly admitting his plight to people from whom he made his livelihood? With these we have had experience galore. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. I well remember the shock I received when a prominent doctor in Chicago told me of cases where pressure of the spinal fluid actually ruptured the brain. From surrounding towns, families drive long distances to be present. Well be down., Two days later, a future fellow of Alcoholics Anonymous stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed. BIG BOOK INDEX FIRST 164 PAGES 4 SUBJECT PAGE(S) PARAGRAPH(S) Step 9 76 Through 84 3 Ending in 1 Step 10 84 Through 85 2 & 2 Step 11 85 Through 88 3 Step 12 89 (Chapter 7) Trust In God 68 2 Unpaid Debts 78 2 When In Doubt 164 1, 2 & 3 Viewed on any device capable of viewing PDFs. We hope this book has answered some of them. If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk. Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. It just comes! They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. But life among Alcoholics Anonymous is more than attending gatherings and visiting hospitals. Sede: Cajamar - Rua Vereador Jos Mendes, 267, Jordansia CEP: 07776-460 Fone: (11) 97166-5785 How Many "Musts" are there in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. It means release from care, boredom and worry. Perhaps I could help some of them. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); A Better Approach to Mental Health & Addiction Recovery. Well, thats exactly what this book is about. But dont remind him of this after he had been drinking, for he may be angry. In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs. The cheery voice of an old school friend asked if he might come over. So we think that unless some good and useful purpose is to be served, past occurrences should not be discussed. It would have been impressive heroics if he had walked up to the Judge and said, Here I am.. Simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. The proceeding was shot through with much hard feeling and controversy. We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men. If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to be very happy. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. He would probably be insulted if he were called an alcoholic. That was great news to us, for we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult to believe. We made it when we took inventory. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.. If you are positive he is one of this type you may feel you had better leave. The first 164 pages are unchanged from the book's first printing in 1939. On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied by his continual promises to be careful or to keep off the streets altogether. It was fortunate, for my old business associates remained skeptical for a year and a half, during which I found little work. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. I had no intention of drinking. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us. The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does him no harm, that drinking is necessary in his business. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. I couldnt do that. But you can. Circumstances made him willing to believe. This may lead to lonely evenings for you. That was two months ago and the result was self-evident. But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life. Im afraid to go out the door. While the program is considered a suggested method for dealing with the disease of Alcoholism, there are places within the Big Book where the authors used the word 'MUST.'. At these informal gatherings one may often see from 50 to 200 persons. Your husband will be the first to say it was your devotion and care which brought him to the point where he could have a spiritual experience. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. My secretary returned to say that it was not Mr. B- on the phone; it was Mr. B-s brother, and he wished to give me a message. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Hagen-dazs 1-for-1 Parfait, In 2017 the book A Secular Sobriety was published. Should you wish them above all else, and be willing to make use of our experience, we are sure they will come. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book. It was the obituary of one of the best salesmen I ever had. You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power much greater than yourself. Rumor had it that he had been committed for alcoholic insanity. Drinking isolates most homes from the outside world. There should be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or psychologist if the condition persists. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. Business and financial leaders were my heroes. Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. Words contained within the first 164 pages of the Big Book. For years we have been working with alcoholics committed to institutions. He will have no further reason for covering up an alcoholic employee. You have been starving for his companionship, yet he spends long hours helping other men and their families. The Little Big Book avoids sexist language, and welcomes people of all lifestyles and faiths. Vinhedo. I would not jump. If he is not communicative, give him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit. They trust their God. It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents- anyone can increase the list. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. You cannot see why it should be to anyone else, save the spineless and stupid. FUN FACT: The word God individually appears 134 times within the first 164 pages of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. The good old days will soon be back, they think. We thought, on the whole, we were pretty good women, capable of being nicer if our husbands stopped drinking. I love the book! He clings to the notion that he will yet find a way to do so. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. They grew in numbers. MOST OF us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years. Memorial Day Parade Near Me. I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? He had consulted the best known American psychiatrists. Sponsorship Pamphlet. Being possessed of a spiritual experience, the alcoholic will find he has much in common with these people, though he may differ with them on many matters. These things will come to pass naturally and in good time provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does. We asked ourselves this: Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material? We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. When sober, father usually obeyed. One day he told me about an executive of the same bank who, from his description, was undoubtedly alcoholic. But it isnt so difficult. Let it go at that. You can see that he really does love you with his better self. Perhaps your story will help him see where he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well. Nothing will help the man who is off on a spiritual tangent so much as the wife who adopts a sane spiritual program, making a better practical use of it. We realize we know only a little. This is particularly true of women. Some people cannot be seen-we send them an honest letter. I failed to persuade my broker friends to send me out looking over factories and managements, but my wife and I decided to go anyway. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasnt done so yet. Drinkers will not stand for it. The chances are he will not for, like yourself, he is just beginning his development. We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be. Nothing would fix me. This was only a few days ago at this writing. A pivotal decision was made in '95: "The first 164 pages of the Big Book, the Forwards, 'The Doctor's Opinion,' 'Doctor Bob's Nightmare,' and the Appendices [will] remain the same," which was not reversed during Advisory Actions in '97, '98, '99, and 2000, leading up to publication of the 4th Edition of the Big Book in 2001. He had plenty of money left and thought I had better go to Canada. Men under them are frequently their friends. Anything is better than the way you were. The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward. 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how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book